Living With a Possessed iPhone

Smashed Phone

Woohoo smashed phone #1 and then #2 a few days later

This story begins from when I dropped my iPhone 6S (twice) in October last year and smashed the glass AND then the LCD. Since then, it has never been the same again.

I did get the glass and LCD replaced, but it somehow got loose over the next few months, resulting in a (presumably) tremulous connection between it and the software of the device – therefore, a possessed phone which does as it wishes.

Since January this year, myΒ phone’s touchscreen has episodes where it either senses finger presses and swipes that are not there or totally not senses anything at all. These are some of the things that my dear phone does when its in that mood:

  1. It types gibberish when a text field is open – eg. bbbbbbyhhhbhbbbbbbbggggh
  2. If you leave it on the home screen, it opens apps for you, like Movies, App Store, LinkedIn, Music
  3. Speaking of which, it also sometimes plays songs when it feels like it (seriously, that is a little creepy)
  4. If you try to call someone and it acts up then, it randomly calls people in your recent call list (which is not great if they are mostly potential employers and recruiters)
  5. Totally hang and completely refuse to react to your finger no matter how hard you jab, press or swipe
  6. Rebelliously take screenshots instead when you try to switch it off or reset it
  7. On that note, it can occasionally take pictures of random objects and situations too
  8. While scrolling through Whatsapp looking for someone you want to message, it opens up a chat with people you haven’t texted in ages
  9. It can also send your location to virtual strangers via text message
  10. On Instagram, it clicks through to random people’s pages and posts to entertain you – and even tries to upload pictures
  11. It forces you to choose a cover with prancing unicorns and floating incandescent sparkles for it
Sparkly Phone Cover

Just kidding about that last one, I chose to do that myself. I think.

Admittedly, it is terribly frustrating most of the time but being a stubborn (but it works sometimes!), miserly (but I don’t want to spend unneccessary money!) and hopeful (maybe it’ll suddenly work more often!) person, I haven’t bought a new phone yet. Besides, it does make for an amusing story? πŸ˜‰

My pretty newΒ cover seems to have made it worse though, so today is in fact a completely hopeless day and I find myself unable to use my phone. During episodes like this, I have to contain my annoyance and resist throwing my phone at the wall. Good anger management training maybe.

At such times, the realisation of how deeply reliant I am on technology dawns upon me. And I think I might have Instagram withdrawal today because my phone hasn’t let me access it.

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